Let’s face it, we all want something from a relationship. Yet some just
want something casual and less committed than what may be the general
expectation. It is important to identify certain signs that could mean the
other person doesn’t want more out of a relationship than what is casual. Such
clarity will help us avoid disappointment at the end.
1. They are not progressive about the
relationship A
relationship is like a plant. It has to be nurtured to grow. Such evolution is
what will lead it to solidity and certainty. However if an individual doesn’t
see a relationship as progressive or developmental and is not willing to put
energy into propelling a relationship into maturity then it is obvious the
person is not ready for something real.
2. They prefer to take rather than to give
They
are always after something, and these could be what they could benefit or take
from the relationship rather than offer to it. They really do not want to make
any sacrifices that could consume or make them more involved. Giving something
to a relationship sucks to them while taking makes them feel they are in
control.
3. They have not built great relationships in
the past
Let
them stare at the mirror and tell you what they see. Chances are that they will
tell you that they have been through so many casual relationships that they
really can’t define or tell you what a real relationship means. Whether what
they have engaged in the past was casual or broken, they have not put in so
much energy in the past to make a relationship a success.
4. They are elusive
Whether
in discussions or actions that are made to signal they are willing to be a part
of a real relationship they will be elusive. They will appear vague about what
they really want from a relationship. Truthfully they do not have a clarity
about what they want and being elusive about it keeps such commitment at bay.
5. They have been hurt so many times
This is
a red flag. Being hurt makes he/she go easy on being committed and providing
anything assuring because really they find it difficult to go through that pain
of investing emotions and losing it at the end of the day. They would prefer to
play it safe and stay away from something real.
6. They avoid your family and friends
They
see your family or friends as elements that represent commitment and
responsibility, something that they are not really ready for. They would avoid
meeting people that are really close and intimate with you.
7. They make unnecessary demands
You
could say they are perfectionist or they just keep nagging to distract you from
what good moments that could be born from your relationship. They really would
want and expect everything to be perfect in you and in circumstances
surrounding the relationship.
8. They dwell on the negatives of being in a
relationship
They
don’t see the positives of a real relationship. They talk against it to their
friends, family and loved ones. They can’t seem to understand the depth and
meaning of a real relationship and would rather prefer to talk negatively about
it.
9. They have issues with trusting others
They
can’t seem to trust other people, especially with their emotions and feelings.
They feel the other person in the relationship may be out to betray and hurt
them so they try to play it safe and hide behind the cloak of mistrust and
disbelief.
10. They want to be free
They
want to be free. They cherish freedom and wouldn’t want that freedom or
independence to be upset by anyone. They see a real relationship as a hindrance
to being free and doing those things they like.
At the
end of the day it is left for you to understand these signs and be willing to
offer such persons the space they need.
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