Tuesday, 6 March 2018

#StoryTuesday: Suicide Note (Page Two)

Last week we began a new story on our #StoryTuesday series. The story is titled 'Suicide Note' and new episodes will be published on Tuesdays. Suicide Note will be written in pages (episodes) and here is the link to Page One in case you missed it. Continue reading page two below:
If you are reading this, it means it's too late to help, I am not going to blame anyone for my actions instead I will tell you my story and let you be the judge. 

I was very excited the first day I went to school, I was finally going to mix with my peers, finally  going to make friends, the excitement in my face was off the charts, I couldn't wait. I attended Festac Primary School and the moment I stepped into the school compound and I saw students on the assembly ground, I wanted to go back home. I was scared, I have never been around many kids but my mum held my hands and told me everything would be fine.

Everything was indeed fine, I mean I won't be the first primary school kid to be stabbed in Festac, at the age of 10, I was already an adult with my reasoning, while my mum was getting drown in being a single mum, the street of Festac raised me. I saw and learnt things a young boy shouldn't be learning even in the next generation. My mum, sorry this page is still about me, so I will get back to my mum.

Remember I said something about being smart, yes I was smart. Na my smartness no make popo catch me when them carry Iwge for Cocaine Avenue, na this same brain I use escape catch fire for Festac College and na this same brain I use do wetin I do.

My last birthday was the 6th year of me seeing a therapist and mum doesn't even have a clue. At age 11 I had my second depression and this was because I couldn’t deal with the abuse from aunt Florence anymore, another thing my mum doesn't know, the only way I could deal with it was to leave Festac. Two years after I left Festac, Ehis was buried, Ehis was that every parent kind of son, he was strong enough not to allow the street life distract him, still he was killed for being Ehis, if Ehis had lasted this long, I am sure he would have found a way to talk me of out this, he always knew what to say to me and that I envy a lot because he had the kind of family I wanted.

Ehis was my best friend, his death really broke my heart, it made me begin to wonder, what you can do for life to actually be fair to you. Up to this very moment I always wish I could have traded my life for Ehis, I wish my mistake didn't affect him, when I heard how Ehis died, I knew it was my  doing. I told him a secret I wasn't supposed to and just like he promised, he took that secret to his grave, literally speaking.

I took a big risk when I wanted to leave Festac, the outcome is only known to Ehis and I, and I am also taking the outcome to my grave. My therapist said the only true way for me to honour Ehis is by not giving up the secret he died for, that's why I am not going into details of that event. I really miss Ehis, I always carried the picture we took together during one of the first three birthday parties aunt Florence threw for me. As a matter of fact it was my sixth year birthday, I had a decent result in class and my speaking ability had improved though I was still very much shy. Still aunt Florence said my birthday is still worth celebrating, for someone that can't recollect any form of birthday celebration, my sixth birthday was one I held dear to my heart and it was also the beginning of me being used as a sexual toy or let me say, I became that kid wey them they use suppress konji.

Yes I used the word “them” because aunt Florence had a friend, aunty Ada, she too took her chances whenever she was around. “I know everything about you and aunt Florence, if you don't do what she use to tell you to do with me, I will tell your mum” these were the exact words she uses to tie my hands. At this point let me tell you a little about my mum's situation, three months after we got to Festac she started going out with Demola, she thought she was in love, I mean Demola was spending so who could blame her. But it was soon she found out that a Festac guy will do anything to get a lady to bed. 

One month after constant bedtime with my mum, Demola tossed her side. My mum was heartbroken, she was a laughing stock on the street but aunt Florence was able to help her heal. She and my mum became close because she too was once played by Demola, so she understood what my mum was going through. Now as a kid of 6 years how exactly do you tell your mum that her best friend who by the way doesn't keep a boyfriend is using her son for sexual satisfaction?.

New episode next week Tuesday

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