Wednesday 20 May 2015

May You Never Befriend Your Wives And Marry Your Girlfriends - Ayo Obisanya

Did you just mutter what is this guy saying again - Is he trying to be a renowned relationship expert or marriage counselor? For your information, I stand to deny and run away from being a relationship expert sort of. Just to inform you before curiosity make you shrill like a man stung by soldier ant, this title was gotten from a post on Elnathan John’s blog. If your curiosity extends again to who Elnathan John is in Nigeria, you no dey this land at all. Sorry, I forgot writers are not really celebrated in our country unlike the people that come and shout some no-lyrics songs to us and the thieves in guise as politicians. Shioor!!

Back to the title before I ‘misyarn’ on these ‘alariwo plus pangolo’ songs and deceitful people that don’t worth to be leaders. I read these self-explanatory words – title – repeatedly, trying to understand the meaning(s) without the fear of imprecision. I hope at the end of this piece, my discourse would be synonymous to that of the interpretation of Elnathan’s and be unambiguous. Before I begin to unravel mine, this is meant for the ‘brothers.’ Probably, the ladies version will come on board in some other times. In the same manner, ladies, kindly modify it to your version and see for yourself because, I might not say a word on it again. In stricto sensu, like lawyers will say, bro, tighten your seat belt and read without mincing any word. Open your head. This chance might never resurface again.
With the divorce rate in Nigeria increasing day by day and not seeming to be declining, one is perturbed of what tomorrow holds in terms of marriage. That some are getting it right isn’t an automatic ticket for you to having a great one. Or should I say it isn’t an express parameter in judging yours. A lot of factors are attached to be causes of divorce in Nigeria of recent times. Poverty, lack of sexual activity, lack of love, spiritual forces who are against the success of the marriage – after you murdered yourself, you definitely want to blame them who only hastened your unwise act – to mention a few. But have you reasoned that another cause is when you are the architect of your bemoan. Remember, man is the architect of his own fortune or failure. Get it into your skull if is not there. You are wondering how you could be the cause. Be patient as I shall differentiate a ‘girlfriend’ from a ‘wife’.
According to Wikipedia, if you like agree with that, that’s your headache, ‘ a girlfriend is a female friend, often specifying a regular female companion with whom one is romantically and/or sexually involved. This is normally a short-term committed relationship, whereas other titles (e.g. wife, partner) are more commonly used for long-term committed relationships. If you are not satisfied, go on a research voyage. On the other hand, ‘a wife is a female partner in a continuing marital relationship.... on the death of her partner, a wife (not a girlfriend) is referred to as a widow...’ With these definitions, it is noteworthy that a wife is theoretically and practically differs from a girlfriend. The problem with we, boys or guys as you preferably want it, is that we persistently continue to wallow in this mistake and fail to dandle the truth with our strength.
Of course, I don’t know your female friends but you know that the one that appears to be a wife is the one you see as just a normal close friend with no strings attached and the girlfriend is the one you carry about just for the pleasure you derive sexually. I don’t intend to bore you with words neither can I say much on it because I don’t see myself as a marriage counselor or relationship expert but, I shall leave you to reason deeply on the Wikipedia definitions of the two words which definitions are similar in some research documents, and reconsider yourself before you get kicked out of matrimony one day. Wish you don’t be the one who falls into a hole and teaches everyone else wisdom.
But I can imagine your problem after reading this: You buy lies with ready cash but truth came to the market and could not be sold. What a man sees while sitting down, a child can never see even if he/she climbs the highest mountain. May you never befriend your wives and marry your girlfriends.
Ayorinsola Obisanya, FAB.
He rather others reason deeply than to get in a trashy gaol

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