By the
time your newborn has collected himself enough to be able to grab your finger
and smile, you probably have his entire life planned out for him. Holding your
baby for the first time, you see all of his hopes, dreams, and
accomplishments throughout his lifetime laid about before you as if they were
drawn on your hospital gown. Perhaps it’s around this time when you
realize you don’t have the slightest clue of how to make these dreams a
reality. After all, you’re new to this whole parenting thing. So much can
possibly go wrong that it’s tough to imagine everything going right. Don’t be
intimidated. As long as you impart the following notions to your child over the
course of his lifetime, he will turn out just fine. Read on!
1. Seek Wisdom
There’s
a saying that goes something like: “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad.” Don’t just ensure that your
child grows up knowing a lot of factual information. Teach him the importance
of being able to use this knowledge to be productive in life. Reading with your child
on a daily basis is a good start, but he must also learn to utilize the lessons
and information gleaned, whether it’s how to treat others, or how to make
homemade lasagna. The smartest person in the world can make unwise decisions;
make sure your child knows how to choose the right path.
2. Show Gratitude
A funny
thing happens in November. When Thanksgiving rolls around, everyone all of a
sudden starts boasting about how grateful they are for everything they have in
life. There’s nothing wrong with that, per se, but there is definitely
something inherently wrong with being superficially thankful simply because
it’s the time of the year in which it’s popular to do so. Teach your children to
spend time every day thinking of the advantages they have, and
praising the people who have given them these advantages. Teach them to
write thank-you cards after a party, and to recognize when someone has gone out
of their way to help them. Expressing gratitude is the best way to show someone
else how much they matter in this world.
3. Have good manners
“Please”
and “thank you” go a long way in today’s world. But good manners go beyond
simple words. Teach your children how to behave at the dinner table, in public,
and when they are guests in other people’s homes. The way they act toward
others sets the stage for how they will be perceived in society. Well-mannered
children will grow into respectful and respectable adults who will make great
first impressions in their personal and professional lives, which will put them
on the path to true success.
4. Have compassion
There
are so many people in this world that are much less fortunate than anyone
currently reading this. Teach your children to help those in need – especially
those who cannot help themselves. Being compassionate stems from being
grateful, as having compassion requires children to first think of the
things they have that others might not. When children learn to help others,
they are not just exhibiting a knowledge of gratitude; they also use
this gratitude in an actionable manner.
5. Be truthful
When
children mess up, they have a hard time telling the truth. This may be due to
the idea that they’ll “get in trouble” for what they’ve done, so they’ll do
their best to skirt the issue. As parents, it’s important to impart in our
children the idea that it’s much more important to tell the truth and learn
from the mistake made than to lie and continue making that same
mistake over and over. If a child lies, it’s because he’s afraid of what will
happen to them. They have to feel safe coming to you when they screw up. Of
course, you will need to show your disappointment in their negative behavior,
but always remember to reinforce how proud you are of them for admitting they
were wrong.
6. Advocate for yourself
Teach
your children that they should stand up for what they believe in. This can be
tough to do, because going against the grain has the potential to land them in
trouble. But if they feel that they’re being treated unfairly, they
should be confident enough to stand up for themselves. And they should always
know you have their back, no matter what.
7. Money management
Teach
children the value of a dollar when they’re young. Set an allowance, and give them
chores which they will complete to earn this allowance. While there’s no
problem with bringing home a special gift every once in a while, make sure your
children learn the importance of saving up for something they really want. As
they grow, help them diversify their “income” into short- and long-term
savings, so they start to learn the basics of budgeting their money. When they
get even older, start taxing them so you can slowly get back all the money
you’ve ever given them (just kidding…).
8. How to handle failure
This is
a big one. Many children are so afraid of not doing well that they never take a
risk and try something new. In classrooms, children feel uncomfortable
experimenting with a new math problem if they haven’t been given explicit
instruction on how to solve it, and will often need their teacher to “give them
the OK” every single step of the way. It’s important to instill in your
children the notion that failure is not a dead-end road. Pencils have erasers for a reason. Life is a
series of successes and setbacks; it’s how they handle the setbacks that
determine how great their successes are.
9. Keep promises
Children
should know that a promise is a sacred contract that should never be broken,
and should be taken seriously. In fact, once children make a promise, you
should make it their utmost priority. If they promised to clean their room, but
have to be told five times that day to do it, they haven’t kept their promise.
A promise isn’t something to be completed on their own terms; it’s a vow that
they will give something of themselves for another person, and will do so as
humanly possible. Make sure they know not to make promises on a whim, because
the other party will put a trust in that promise that will be hard to earn back
if broken.
10. Keep learning
Walk
into any high school class and you’ll certainly find a large portion of
children who are bored to death. Knowing that those teenagers were once
toddlers who were dying to know everything about the world around them is
downright depressing. Parents should encourage their children to learn
something new every day, and never give up that childlike sense of wonder.
There’s so much to know about life, and so much that still hasn’t been figured
out yet. Instill in your children the idea that they could make the next big
discovery if they continue striving to learn all they can, every day of their
life. Being a life-long learner is perhaps the most important step in becoming
a successful adult.
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