New Article: Eleven Things To Remember With Sudden Life Changes

I’m sure you’ve heard this statement before: No one likes change. Alright, that statement may not be 100% true for everyone (some people love change). But when life changes suddenly — and in a negative way — it’s a difficult for most people. So if and when you find yourself in the midst of a sudden life change, remember these 11 things:

1. The only thing that is constant about life ischange.

You can’t escape it. No one can. Life happens. People die every day, and their loved ones are left to mourn the loss and go on with life. People get fired every day. They have to learn to deal with their sudden financial losses and find a way to regain their security. Break-ups and divorces happen all the time too. But wallowing in your misery about it won’t help. At some point, we all just need to remember that change is inevitable. But how we deal with change is optional. So make it positive.

2. You’re not alone — everyone goes through changes.

I’m sure it feels like you are alone, but you’re not. There are probably thousands or millions of people out there going through a similar experience right at this moment. Even if you had the most horrific things happen to you, like being diagnosed with a terminal illness or having a loved one pass away suddenly, there are people who have been though it and survived. If you keep that at the forefront of your mind, it might give you some peace.

3. Feeling confused or upset is normal.

When life changes suddenly, you probably want to scream, shout, curse and plead with God. All you want is for life to go back to “normal.” You want your “old life” back. You would probably do anything to have that. But remember, these feelings are part of the grieving process. To NOT feel any of these emotions would not be normal. And to repress the feelings is not healthy. It can do physical damage to your body and mind.

4. The haze you are in now will eventually lift.

Like I said, you might be thinking that life will never be normal again. Well, it will never be the “old normal,” but you will learn to create a “new normal.” One of my grandfather’s favorite sayings was, “You can get used to anything — even hanging if you hang long enough.” While that might be a crude yet humorous quotation, it makes a point. Humans are enduring. We’re built for survival, so the haze will eventually go away. Maybe not as soon as you want it to, but it will eventually disappear.

5. Do some self-reflection and look at the change as a life lesson.

If you are religious or spiritual, you can look at life through a lens of a spiritual lesson. Even if you’re not, you can still use negative experiences to figure yourself out learn to grow as a person. I think absolutely everything that happens to us can be seen as a learning opportunity. But you have to train your mind to think along those lines first.

6. Focus on and appreciate what you dohave left.

When my dad passed away, it was awful. Anyone who has lost a loved one knows how horrible it is. You feel like your world is crumbling down around you. However, as sad as it was to lose him, I was comforted by knowing that my mom and stepmom were still alive. And my sisters. And friends. And other family members. Focusing on who or what you do have left brings a little bit more peace to you during those difficult times.

7. You need to make the choice to keep going.

You might want to just never get out of bed again. You might think your life is over. But guess what? It isn’t. Life goes on. The world keeps turning. And if you “check out” of life, everyone else just keeps moving on. So you need to make the conscious choice to get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and keep walking through life. Don’t give up. It’s a choice. It’s not an easy one, but it’s still your choice.

8. Ask for help.

Hopefully you have a network of family and friends who can help you. I know a lot of people who like to be strong and don’t like to ask for help. But being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t ask for help. Being strong means that you DO ask for help. If you don’t, it just makes you feel more isolated. Most people like to help others. So give them the opportunity to spread their love and kindness to you. Open your heart and your mind and let people in.

9. Just because things are bad now, doesn’t mean you can’t be happy again.

The best thing someone said to me after my dad’s funeral was, “You never get over it. You just get used to it.” I had never thought of it like that before. But it’s true. We never get over the loss of a loved one. But if your sudden life change is something like the loss of a job, divorce or a health problem, you will find a way to “get used to it” too. Sometimes you have no choice. So the only choice you really have is to choose how you are going to respond to what happens to you.

10. Eventually, things will become clear to you.

Someday, you will look back and know why it all happened. Here’s an example from my life: I was fired, once. There — I said it. Okay, I wasn’t really fired because I did anything wrong, I just got let go. And at the time, I was confused. I didn’t know what to do next. But if that hadn’t happened, I would not have ended up in the career I am in now, which I love. I am a big believer in “everything happens for a reason.” Even if it’s a negative life change, there might be a reason why it happened. Again, it could be another life lesson.

11. You need to mentally prepare for the next life change.

Hopefully your next life change won’t be sudden or tragic. It could simply be graduating from college, having your children move out of your home, or retirement. All of those changes are predictable and you can prepare for them years in advance. But the sudden life changes are different. Not that sudden life changes are as common, but if you mentally accept the fact that they can happen at any time, then you will definitely appreciate what you have right now.

Change doesn’t have to be bad. It can lead to something greater than where you are now. Even horrible changes can eventually be turned into something positive. So if you’re going through a sudden life change, remember these 11 things and hopefully you will get through it with ease and grace

New: Eight Ways To Overcome Low Self Esteem

We all fall into that state of low self-esteem after all we have been doing, we find ourselves in a sea of failures. Often times, it’s not a pile of losses but a single malfunction. A relationship that did not work out? A job you did not get? An exam you did not ace? A career dead-end? Always tell yourself this shall pass!

But when you get into a series of little failures and are not able to get up and bounce back in the right way, you lose control and start to develop a habit of dragging yourself out of pretension. There is still hope. There is a way out of the self-esteem abyss (aka low self-esteem).

Whenever people ask me questions about self-esteem, a number of times I sense people know what to do but they do not know how to do it. Nowadays we are bombarded with a lot of information on self-improvement and it’s all the same. Let me break those ideas into practical personal projects you can easily do so you can immediately get started

1. Make a list of your achievements

Do not focus on the negatives. All this time, you have achieved things in your life. Ask yourself, what are these? Having been able to make it through a roller coaster relationship? Finishing a course in spite of the time challenge? Working for a top company in your industry when no one from your college has been admitted except you? Having managed to raise a family or run a household who would not have achieved anything without your support or contribution?

There are a lot of other things you can think of. Listing them down is not silly. They are important. They make you up. They make you important. They make you beautiful.

2. Create a dream board

Some of the things you have listed in your achievements may be what I call “accidental achievements” because they were never planned. Just like sending you to school was never your choice but it was what everybody was doing. It just went its way on its own without you realizing it. But you cannot leave yourself to luck all the time.

Take control of your life and make things happen for yourself and for your loved ones. You know you should have a dream, a goal or a priority. Now, let’s put that in black and white or should I say, in colors by creating a dream board!

Get yourself a clean cardboard or a frame which you can hang somewhere and put images of what and who you want to be in the next five years and in the next 10 years. Include an image of a person you want to be – maybe physically, emotionally or in whatever aspect of your life. Put this board somewhere visible so you will see this everyday of your life and stop thinking of the setbacks. Start focusing on your dreams and goals.

3. Start making choices of who you want to be not what others want you to be

Related to the dream board, include this process as a personal reflection about the kind of person you are. Ask yourself: Am I acting as myself or am I trying to project a different person? You can be that inspiring person who always catches everyone’s attention. Or the achiever who went to Harvard and is now a successful corporate leader. Or that articulate guy who can speak confidently on stage.

There is a pressure for any one of us to follow a certain figure in our environment. If this is strong, you have to fight the current and be yourself. Fighting the tide means learning to express yourself with your own style, leading your team in the effective way you know or choosing a different path you feel you will fit in.

4. Develop the habit of self-affirmation

A big chunk of who and what we are comes from how we were raised by our parents or family. Whatever words, images and action we saw when we were growing up, we swallowed that up into our system. It is up to us – up to now – how we will take them.

In front of us is the future and if we want to take control of our lives, we have to take the good things we learned and unlearn those that are not helping. In the mean time, we can still change that by using personal affirmations to motivate us.

Self-affirmations are positive statements that describe a desired situation, repeated many times to influence the sub-conscious to take positive action. By doing so, we ingrain in our systems a different attitude to help us keep going in spite of difficulties. In Expert Enough, here’s one example: I am capable of achieving my goal!

5. Project self-confidence

If you can’t make it, fake it. This adage sounds silly but it is seriously true. Not that you have to fake it and pretend for the sake of itself. Self-confidence is like the chicken and egg thing. You can’t have self-confidence if you don’t try it. But where are you going to get confidence if you don’t have it? That’s where self-intervention comes.

You can copy confidence from your favorite drama series characters, movies or real-world bosses and success models. I like to look up to those team leaders in law and crime dramas. They tell me how to project assertiveness and confidence. Key things to remember: Practice what you have to say (until it becomes easy for you to be more spontaneous). Watch your body language and posture. Reduce tension inside by doing breathing exercises.

6. Create your environment of trust and support

It’s easier to project self-confidence if you have family and friends very supportive to you. They will be your first line of offense when making that confident move. When you get to the actual battlefield where you need to show off your confidence, make new friends and contacts. Start conversations to ease out the tension in the room. Get to know people in the places where you find your self-esteem challenged.

When you start establishing rapport, barriers fall down. Then your trust joins the environment and there you will find a bunch of people throwing their support at you.

7. Increase your social exposure

Practice, practice, practice. There is no other way the best artists and leaders succeed other than practice. So goes for self-esteem and confidence. Set the tone for yourself and get used to it. Not to say you do not try even if you are already there in the real world. But chances are you will end up with this cycle of what-ifs asking yourself just because you are afraid to try.

Mingle in clubs and organizations to get you used to talking to people, reach out to those in need, socialize in parties, get to know people, make personal and business conversations, etc. You can join a Toastmasters in your area if you want to take your public speaking and leadership skills to the next level. You can join a local sports club just to mix and balance physical health with “social” health. You can join a business club or organization to help you meet more business contacts and in the process you sharpen your skills in talking biz.

8. Reach out to people who are in need and pay it forward

Now you ask, “Is this important in improving self-confidence?” Often times, people with low self-esteem seem to find it easier to talk to those who are underprivileged or those in need. This is because it is when they are able to express themselves with more ease and have less fear about having to meet high expectations from achievers.

But more importantly, reaching out to others makes you stop thinking about yourself and instead, think of what you can do to help others, find a meaningful purpose or contribution and lead you to be more inspired to improve self for others. In relation to #7, expose yourself to people-oriented activities such as joining clubs or organizations where you not only sharpen specific skills or get used to talking but also being able to offer your own skills to service.

Time to make a step forward

Which of the tips on the list above is what you are most comfortable with? Take action! Pick one tip per week and see how you can develop the habit of pushing yourself to improve your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Nowadays, the best way to make a call to action effective is to get those around you to feel the real deal and see how it will affect them. My challenge for you is to pick up three to four projects mentioned above and commit to doing it. Send me an email about your commitment and be accountable for it. Be one of those brave souls who took responsibility.

6 Personality Traits Employers Look For When Hiring

1. Confidence

Universum confirms this is the trait employers think most applicants are missing. What’s the point of having an extensive resume, if you can’t back it up with a firm handshake? First impressions are extremely important, and interviewers will quickly lose interest in you if you cannot look them in the eye. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will.

2. Professionalism

Eighty six percent of companies rated professionalism as something they are seeking. This is not only limited to the way someone carries herself at work, but can make a strong first impression. Two ways to stand out are to dress appropriately for the interview, and to treat others with complete respect.

3. Openness to new experiences

According to the study conducted by UTM researchers, this personality trait promotes creativity, technical innovations, a need for diversity and is easily trained. Someone who is open to new experiences is also the type of employee who won’t limit himself to the stipulated duties alone. Since this is an individual who is always seeking growth, he will be more than happy to take on additional responsibilities around the workplace. This employee is willing to take risks, try new things, and is the ideal hire for companies seeking hires who will be excited about his career.

4. Intellectual curiosity

This trait is demonstrated in two ways: superior problem-solving and a thirst for learning. An intellectually curious employee wants to know the hows and whys of the workplace. This employee keeps up with new technologies and finds innovative ways to solve problems. She can bring a fresh perspective into the workplace – 57% of companies surveyed by Universum say they are looking for someone with intellectual curiosity.

5. Agreeableness

A person who is agreeable is open-minded, self-sacrificing, generous and trustworthy. An employee with this trait is willing to help others and put the team’s needs before his own in the workplace. This is the type of employee who would be ideal for training new hires in the future or to mellow a workplace dispute. He radiates positivity and according to UTM’s study, he helps boost productivity in the workplace by helping to establish a support system.

6. Self-monitoring

The reason employers look for this type of employee is simple: avoiding micromanaging. This type of employee is aware of his or her duties and performs them without having to be told to do so. This person is efficient, rises up to challenges and is capable of working independently. This is the type of individual who has a lot of challenge-result stories to share during an interview, or simply shows interviewers he is capable of keeping his head up in moments of adversity.

Being aware of the top personality traits companies search for, puts job-seekers in a better position to compete for scarce openings. Find which one of these traits apply to you. Look at your resume and try to think of what you can highlight them.

Each employer is different, however at the end of the day if you are able to show that you are professional, self-motivated and agreeable you will find yourself with more job offers than you can handle. If you are a Millennial Leader, personality makes a difference and showing the right cues is crucial to take the next big step in your career. Find which of these 6 personality traits represents you the most and hold that as your cornerstone during the interview process.

New: Ten Habits That Separate Successful And Unsuccessful People

There is no secret recipe to become a successful person. There is no manuscript or film you can watch to become successful. What are the things that recognize a person as successful or unsuccessful? Some conventional habits and characteristics are the things that separate the strong from the weak. Successful people set forth their habits to achieve excellence and unsuccessful people do not settle on their terrible habits and struggle. Here are the key differences in habits between the two types of people.

1. Strong sense of self-awareness

With a strong sense of self-awareness you would be able to go out with confidence and you can face challenges and hold a faith in yourself that you can handle the ups and downs that come with living. Successful people have a strong sense of self-awareness: they know who they are and they are comfortable with themselves. They recognize themselves as unique individuals.

On the other hand, unsuccessful people have a narrow-minded vision of themselves and their character in the world. They might be extremely good at work and want to contribute towards changing the world or the environment they live in, but their effort is self-oriented and personally driven.

2. A desire to improve

The desire to improve generates challenges, experiments, which gives purpose and positive change. Even a failed attempt will create opportunities or challenges almost always more positive than total failure to act. Unsuccessful people generally don’t take risks and feel comfortable by staying on the “safer” side. They won’t feel happy going out of their comfort zone.

Successful people look forward to growing and take action to make positive changes in their careers. Irrespective of the desire of the attempt to improve, and regardless of the actual outcomes, this is an important difference between successful and unsuccessful people.

3. Expressed appreciation

You will hardly catch a successful person talking about his or her successes. In fact, a successful person rarely talks about him or herself. Successful people understand great success is the outcome of a team’s hard work. They give importance to the assistance they get from others.

Unsuccessful people find a wrong spot in everything and will display failures and hide others’ successes. They use a negative tone with other people around them and do not believe in anything.

4. Sense of ownership

Successful people look forward to learning from mistakes. They recognize their faults and take responsibility to make sure not to repeat mistakes again. They are accountable for their own actions.

On the other side, unsuccessful people are persistent; they think they are always right and they know it all, and consider themselves superior to everyone else.

5. Target and goal-oriented

Effective people have short-term and long-term goals which give them direction to meet success. That serves as a guideline and helps keep themselves motivated and on track. They set actual goals they can accomplish while unsuccessful people scramble to discover what they need to do next.

6. Confidence to face any problem

A truly successful person is never defeated by issues that appear in front of them any time. They put up a fight no matter how bad the situation. Successful people’s determined spirit gets stronger with problems. When they fall, they get back up.

7. Big-picture thinking ability

Big-picture thinking brings totality and maturity to an effective person’s thinking which broadens his or her outlook by striving to learn from every experience. While small thinking of unproductive people shortens their vision and leads them to become a follower, not the front-runner.

8. Approach towards work

Another commonality found in the successful is they find pleasure in their work. They focus on essential parts of their work that are quantifiable. That gives them the greatest sense of achievement and brings happiness at work. Unproductive people focus thinking on survival, and take all the good credit from others.

9. Value of time

Productive and effective people never waste time. Successful people endow a great value on their time. They understand time is the most treasured asset they possess, so they do everything they can to acquire supreme results.

Unsuccessful people cannot get ahead in life, because they don’t value time in their life. They look for any excuse to take a break from what they are doing. They get confused and they love putting things pending until the next day. They don’t complete work, responsibilities or projects on time.

10. Ability to delay gratification

Successful people possess higher patience, an aptitude to postpone the enjoyment of their work. They have an ability to work hard to accomplish a goal which is not achieved for a long time. It takes a lot of skills unsuccessful people lack or have not experienced. These comprise proper planning for the upcoming challenges, association, self-confidence and tolerance. These sorts of people by and large can’t see the forest through the trees.

MUSIC: Hardx @Hardx4Music - #EmaJo + #GbabeSkinn + #JekaJo

Soul Suiter Music Group 'SSMG' present the release of  three banger songs from the upcoming Hardx reloaded mixtape album called "Ema Jo The Hardx Prologue" reloaded version which will be released by June 2014. it is a 16 track mixtape album that is going to shake the stand of many album in town. Until then, you can download the three songs, enjoy, share and make your comment.

Ema Jo ft. Terry Apala and DJB Tesojue - DOWNLOAD

 Gbabe Skinn - DOWNLOAD

Jekajo Jo ft. Big Diddo - DOWNLOAD

For Booking Contact SSMG :
Tel: 08032707317 or 08181648184
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WhatsApp: 08176168761
E-mail: soulsuiter4music@gmail.com
WebSite: http://soulsuiter.blogspot.com
Facebook: Hardx Ema Jo
Twitter: @Hardx4Music @SSMGPromotions @SSMGManagement
Linkedin: Soul Suiter Entertainment

Absolute Hearts Personality Of The Month

 Moyosore Ogunbuyide is a young Engineer, an Entrepreneur,  a Social Network Media Marketer. Due to the passion he has for software and hardware program, he is the founder-editor of SiMMYIDEAS Technology Hub. A proud geek and an Internet freak, who is also a social networking enthusiast

He is presently the Manager of Simmyideas Technology Hub whose product and services span from Information, Technology and information technology. He is a young Nigerian, with vast profession experience in his field. He is a graduate of Electrical and Computer Engineering from Federal University of Technology Minna. Microsoft Certified Technologist Specialist (MCTS), Certified in computer fundamental, internet applications, Window XP & 7, Microsoft office 2007, Microsoft Office Excel 2007 & Microsoft Office PowerPoint 2007 and also A pro blogger with www.simmyideas.com.

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Sossi (@Trey_Sossi) Of Bugatti Records Set To Release His Debut Single

Sossi,whose real name is Agboluaje Babatunde was born in 1991 and he hails from Oyo town in Oyo state Nigeria. He's currently a student of geography and planning at University of Lagos.

Sossi's love for music and will to pursue a music career brought him to Lagos at the tender age of 10, and he started recording at the teen age of 17. Sossi can be described as an untapped musical resources who has shared stage with the likes of 2face, Iceprince, Jesse jags, Wizkid, D'prince, Jayru, Jahbless, Reminisce to mention a few.

Sossi is no doubt the next big thing in Nigerian music scene as he's a force to reckon with amongst his local fans in Unilag where a lot of music heavy weight started from.

The young chap who now Owns a Porshe Cayern  and a Mansion in Lekki is signed to Bugatti Recording Group (BRG) as a recording artiste with a lot of deliverable potentials and his set to drop his debut single under Bugatti Records.

Sossi will no doubt thrill good music lovers as he his unrelentingly working on his debut studio album although he already has so many songs to his credit. He will no doubt be the next 'big thing' as 'On Air Personalities' across Africa eagerly anticipate the release of his new single! Follow him on twitter @Trey_Sossi

Pictures From 5Loaves 2Fishes Easter Outreach

(5Loaves2Fishes) 5L2F Love Foundation is a humanitarian charity organisation, where a combination of various youth from different parts of Nigeria sort for charitable materials such as funds, clothing, accessories, bags, shoes, toiletries etc then search for a remote location where they find the less privilege who are in need of the

New Article: Ways To Raise Kids Who Love And Care For Each Other

If you have kids, then you know that the fighting between them can seem endless. And while it may drive us parents crazy, it’s actually quite normal and healthy for siblings to fight. However, where is the line between ‘normal’ and ‘not normal’? How can you be assured that your kids will grow up and eventually get along? Here are 13 ways to raise kids who love and care for each other:

1. Start early – make good relationships a priority.

Even if you have teenagers, it’s not too late. However, if you have babies, toddlers, or younger children, you’re in luck. You have a wonderful opportunity to start early. Make sure you teach them the importance of getting along and being kind to one another. Model that behavior yourself, too.

2. Teach them to have a ‘We mentality,’ not a ‘Me mentality.’

Let’s face it – human beings are inherently selfish. It’s pretty much a survival mechanism. So what parents have to do is to socialize their kids out of the ‘Me mentality.’ Tell your kids that they are a team. In fact, the whole family is a team. Everyone’s actions affect everyone else’s. If you remind them enough times, it will eventually sink in.

3. Demonstrate and teach positive ways to work through arguments.

First, look at yourself. How do you work through conflict with other people (especially the other parent)? Do you yell and scream at each other? Or do you sit down peacefully and work out your problems in a rational manner? Hopefully, it’s the latter. But if not, you need to start by working on yourconflict skills. Once you have learned how to work through arguments yourself, you can teach your kids to do the same. Sit down with them and talk them through the process. Teach them that there are positive ways to ‘fight.’

4. Recognize and encourage all children when one of them accomplishes something.

Maybe Johnny won a basketball championship. Or perhaps Jane brought home straight A’s all year. Whatever it is, make sure that you celebrate all accomplishments. Have the kids congratulate each other. And even if one or more of the kids isn’t accomplishing as much as another sibling, you can still be positive and encourage them to try their best – and tell them that you are proud of all of them. They are all unique.

5. Teach them to respect each other’s personal space and possessions.

Personal boundaries are important to many people. And when boundaries are crossed, usually a conflict ensues. Teach your children that sometimes people just need to be alone. And if they want to borrow a toy or another possession, they should ask permission. They should not just ‘take’ from another person and assume that everything will be okay.

6. Show how to give and receive an apology.

I’m sure we’ve all seen pathetic apologies from our kids many times. I know I have. You know the one: where they roll their eyes and mumble that they’re sorry. Make them look at each other in the eyes, speak clearly, and say, “I’m sorry,” over and over until you think they sound like the mean it. Then tell them that it’s easy to say those words, but when someone is really sorry, they change their behavior.

7. Consistently remind them that they are not the center of the universe.

Unfortunately, many adults don’t even know this. But if you teach your kids this simple fact early, it will help them get along. Everything will not always go your way. Sometimes you have to compromise. See #2 again about developing a ‘We mentality.’

8. Model good behavior yourself.

When I teach my communication classes and workshops, I always tell my audience to take a good, long, hard look at themselves. You can’t change what you don’t recognize. So you might want your kids to get along and love each other more, but if you are not showing them how to do it through your own actions, then they will never learn. Children model behavior more than they listen to your words.

9. Never speak poorly of anyone in the family.

If you’re angry at your spouse, that’s understandable. It happens all the time. But if you go around and say negative things about him or her to your children, then that will teach them that it’s alright to badmouth people. Make sure your words about everyone are positive. Even if you’re pointing out something that needs to be changed, you can say, “I know you can do better.” Never, ever, model bad or critical language in front of your children.

10. Have them buy each other birthday and Christmas presents.

Sure, it makes more work for you to drive them around and pay for the presents. But it tells them that it is important to remember their siblings on special occasions. Christmas is not just about how many presents Santa Claus brings to you. It’s also about giving to loved ones. And so are birthdays.

11. Establish positive family dinner routines.

Having regular family dinners together helps children stay out of trouble as they grow up. It is a time for everyone to talk and communicate. So start a ritual where everyone goes around the table and says something they love and appreciate about other members of the family. That establishes the fact that everyone loves and respects everyone. Eventually, it will become a habit.

12. Have them say, “I love you,” and hug and encourage each other.

Even if you don’t come from an affectionate family, it’s never too late to start the hugs and kisses, and saying, “I love you.” Saying hello and goodbye with a hug shows that you love and respect another person. And using words of encouragement also adds to the affection that is shown.

13. Remind them that after you’re gone, they will only have each other.

I don’t mean to sound morbid, but it’s true. If you are lucky enough to follow the natural order of things, the parents usually die before the siblings do. And once the parents are gone, they will be the only ones in the family left standing. Remind them that having a sibling or siblings is a precious thing, and that there is no one else in the world who shares the same parents. It’s something that should be cherished.

As I said in the beginning, it’s never too late to start teaching your children to love and care for one another. All it takes is some conscious effort on your part. But it’s worth it