Mistakes Youths Make About Love/Romantic Relationship

 

As youth we tend to make some mistakes when it comes to love and relationships, these mistakes sometimes hurt us and sometime we get lucky enough to get away with them. In this article I would like to talk about some of the mistakes we make concerning love/romantic relationship.

FROM FRIENDSHIP TO LOVE/ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Truly everything starts from being friends but even right from when you are saying yes I will be your girl/boyfriend some of you will know that you are making a mistake but you still go ahead to commit yourself to it for one reason or the other. For example two close friends of opposite sex go into a love relationship because they feel they know each other too well or probably because they have been good friends for a while and they seem to understand each other very well so they decided that dating each other won’t be such a bad idea. Yes it might not be a bad idea in fact it might just be the best thing to happen to the both of you but you have to take your time to think of what will happen if things don’t go according to plan. 

The fact that you have been good friends and you always get along doesn’t mean when you start dating each other that your relationship will be perfect. One thing you should know is that once you start dating, the feelings you have for each other as friends will change and that will automatically change how you guys relate with yourself. This simply means that you will be moving from the Friendship kind of love to the romantic kind of love which implies that every other feelings/emotions that has to do with love will come into play and that is a different ball game from the feelings/emotions that comes with Friendship. Friendship is a good thing for those that understand it and some friendships are suppose to remain what they are because if you try to change that feeling you might just be ruining it. Love is not to be rushed, it is a gradual process that grows day by day and as friends once you notice that your feelings/emotions toward one another is starting to change you should take your time to understand what you are actually feeling because a misunderstanding of feelings might just be disastrous.

NOTE: the fact that you have become romantically involved with someone that use to be your friend doesn’t mean you should stop been friends.

Friends do not just get emotionally attached with each other, it has to start gradually, most times you see two good friends go into a relationship and after a while they break up not because they don’t like each other but probably because they didn’t understand their feeling and they just acted on it because they thought it was the right thing to do. The common mistakes friends do when they start dating is that they stop being friends, I know the next question is “how do you stop being friends with the person you are dating?” 

Believe it or not it is very simple to do that most especially when both friends just think that it is high time for them to take their friendship to the next level. Normally when you were friends your feelings for each other was within the friendship zone but once it became a romantic relationship you automatically switch off the friend zone even without you knowing it. You begin to concrete more on the new zone that you have upgraded your relationship to that you might completely forget about the zone you were coming from. It is advisable that as friends when you decide to date yourself you should make sure that you actually have a change of feelings towards each other and not just go into dating because you THINK or you ASSUME it is the next thing to do. Many of us are always of the notion that “after friendship what next, no be to date?” but trust me a true friendship is worth more than a love relationship built on misunderstanding and misinterpretation of feelings.

MISINTERPRETATION AND MISUNDERSTANDING OF FEELINGS

Sometimes as youth we tend to misunderstand and misinterpret our feelings towards one another, adults sometimes fall into this category. The fact that you are having a strong emotional feeling towards someone and you don’t know what to label that feelings doesn’t mean you should assume it is love because there are plenty feelings that are closely related to love which are not love but because we don’t know them we all assume that for those feeling to be as strong as it is then it must be love. Some of those feelings that are misunderstood and misinterpreted as love are as follows;

1·  Lust

2·  Obsession

3·  Infatuation and

4·  Likeness

These feelings are mostly misunderstood and misinterpreted to be love among youth and sometimes among adult also. Generally for you to date someone you have to like that person because it is not LOGICALLY possible for you to date some you don’t like. Also the fact that you like someone doesn’t mean that you can date that person because a lot of you have this mind set of “you like me so why can’t you date me?”

• Likeness is a very strong feeling that shouldn’t be misunderstood or misinterpreted. The fact that you like someone doesn’t mean that you can date that person, you need to develop an emotion called love before you can date someone, you don’t just date someone because you like that person. Liking somebody comes in different form, you may like someone because that person makes you happy or maybe that person gives you advice from time to time and this is not so when it comes to love.

• Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire for somebody. It is a powerful feeling that produces an intense wanting for something or someone. When you are in lust with someone you always want that person around you, you always want him/her to make you happy no matter what and because of this you feel you are in love meanwhile you are in lust. When you feel the hunger of wanting to be with someone you like every time or once you start thinking that if you are not with them then you are doomed, it is safe to say that what you are feeling is Lust and not love. Love is natural, you don’t force it, it comes to you and it is not the hunger for someone. Lust is based on your desire to want something from someone which can be happiness, money or even sometimes sex. When you treat your boyfriend/girlfriend as a prize or an object then you are in lust.

• Infatuation is when you have an emotional feeling for someone and because of those feelings when it comes to matters concerning that person you can’t think straight. Infatuation prevents one from thinking about someone in a balanced or sensible way. When you experience infatuation your mind is consumed by the thought of the other person. You are thinking of how you want to reveal yourself to the other person, you have an idealized vision of what this person is like and your vision may or may not be accurate. When you are infatuated about someone you begin to worry if that persons find you appealing and worry about what next after sex. In infatuation it is always about the sex mostly, that is why after sex you begin to wonder what else to do to keep the relationship going.

• Obsession is another common feeling that is being misunderstood and misinterpreted among youths. The facts that the thought of someone has filled your mind continuous and you can’t think of anything else expect that person doesn’t mean you are in love with that person. The funniest thing about obsession that you actually don’t realize is the fact that you only get to think about the person you are obsessed with in a particular way over and over again.

NOTE: love is not about enslaving your mind or focusing your thought on someone.

It is advisable that you always try to sort out your feeling before you engage in any love relationship so as not to get confused along the way. Sorting out your feeling can be very challenging but it is always worth the try and with that been said here are some tips to be sure that you are in love and not any other related feeling.

• When you are in love, you feel comfortable with your boyfriend/girlfriend and you feel a strong bond.

• When you are in love you will always appreciate your boy/girlfriend when he/she speaks the truth about you even though that truth might sound hurtful.

• You are in love if your boyfriend/girlfriend becomes the first person that comes to your mind when you want to share your innermost thoughts.

I would like to stop here for today, make sure you keep a date with me next week Wednesday for the part two of Mistakes Youth Makes About Love/Romantic Relationship. Thank you.