FOR THE LADIES: Dont Turn Your Boyfriend Into Your Parent

 

By Hafeez Onitilo

The society we live in is so crazy that we sometimes give a certain responsibility that belongs to a certain person to another and still expect that person to perform without any flaws. Imagine you giving chicken a cow meat and you expect that chicken to eat up the meat, isn’t that crazy?

Yeah I know you would be wondering what that has to do with the subject matter. Well let me put you out of that mystery. As you all know it that in this our society (Nigeria) it is a common norm for guys to spend on their  girlfriends so when a girl says stuffs like my boyfriend bought me a phone ,the usual responses from her friends will be wow girl you are lucky oo your boyfriend really loves you. Did I hear you say YES he is my boyfriend if he can’t buy me things then why are we dating? Truth be told I know as a guy you are suppose to spend on your girl but what about when the guy and the lady we are talking about are both teenagers and what even if the guy is working and the lady is an undergraduate and she begins to make ridiculous demand.

For example Cynthia is 17 years old and her boyfriend Adamu is 19 years, both are teenagers which is the normal dating age in our society, and are suppose to be under their parent care which they are but because Cynthia knows that according to the society we live in it is part of Adamu's responsibility to provide for her needs since they are into a relationship. One day she walks up to Adamu to request for a new phone and Adamu, trying to be the man, says I will see what I can do about it. Days turn to weeks and weeks turns to months and eventually Cynthia is running out of patience because her old phone had finally stopped working. After realizing that he won’t be able to get the phone for her Adamu went back to her to apologize for his disappointing act but Cynthia is so furious and mad because John who is the boyfriend of her friend Bukola just bought Bukola a phone just two days after Bukola asked for it. Before I go on I would love you to answer some of these questions honestly, is it truly Adamu responsibility to get Cynthia the phone? Why didn’t Cynthia go to her parent who got her the first phone and request a new phone? Hasn’t Cynthia shifted some of the responsibility of her parent to Adamu?

NOTE: I AM ONLY TALKING ABOUT BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND NOT FIANCÉ AND FIANCÉE BECAUSE THAT IS A DIFFERENT BALL GAME ENTIRELY

Nowadays ladies make some ridiculous and outrageous demand from their boyfriends all in the name of taking care of me. I mean imagine a girl asking her boyfriend to pay for her hairdo, change her wardrobe or even pay for her school fees and to them it is all part of taking care of them. I mean you are 19 years old and you are already expecting a guy to start doing all this for you then what are the responsibilities of your parent towards you? A girl once asked me to change her wardrobe and I said okay but I placed her under one condition which is to answer the following questions “Are you still leaving with your parent? Is your father employed and what about your mother what does she do?  Yes she leaves with her parent, yes are parent are working and they can afford to eat three square meals a day then someone should tell me why shouldn’t I be bothered when she start asking me to pay for her hairdo or even buy her something as little as recharge card which probably she might not even use to call me. I am not saying guys shouldn’t spend for their girlfriends, I mean there is nothing as beautiful and wonderful as you buying her a gift just to appreciate the love you have for her or if you want her to keep loving you take her out on a date and let her pick one or two things she likes now that taking care of her. 

I just think that what ladies of nowadays are asking their boyfriends are what they should be asking their parent because it is the sole responsibility of the parent to take care of their offspring which including paying for their school fees and changing their wardrobe amongst other things. The boyfriend is only there to provide emotional care and a little financial support as at when necessary and not always like it is in our society. Feel free to drop your comment if you feel what I’m saying is totally wrong or even if you have a different opinion about whose responsibility is it to celebrate their birthday for them because some girls also request that from their boyfriends.