If you’re like many new moms
preparing to go back to work, you might find yourself exhausted, overwhelmed
and facing a lot of uncertainty. Obviously child care is on the top of the
list, and it’s critical for getting back to work. But what else should you be
thinking about? Look no further than this list to set you up for success as you
transition back into work.
1. Do a dry run…or two or three
If you go the nanny route, have them
come to your house for a few trial runs and leave your house while they are
there. The first time you leave your child will likely be emotional, so it’s
best if this doesn’t also coincide with the equally emotional first day back in
the office. Practice (and time) your morning routine, so you know how long you
need on a typical morning. By having a few trial runs with your nanny you can
also see what else they might be able to help with, like the laundry, preparing
meals or even some light housekeeping.
2. Make time for self-care
Remember to put your oxygen mask
on first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will be in no shape to take
care of others or handle your workload. Incorporate acts of self care into your
schedule before you go back to work to get into the habit of taking care of
yourself. If you’re running low on ideas for self-care, check out the 20+
recommendations in this short video: Burnout Prevention Guide.
3. Practice mindfulness
Realize that it is going to be
emotional and maybe even painful the first time you leave your little one.
Practice mindfulness by embracing those feelings and feeling them fully without
judgment. And then remember these powerful feelings are just signs of how much
you love your little one. If you need help starting a mindfulness practice but
are short on time (what new mom isn’t?!), try this Meditation Challenge that
teaches you to meditate in only five minutes per day.
4. Determine (or refresh!) your
values
When we’re facing transitions,
the uncertainty can often be overwhelming and we forget why we do the things we
do. Whenever we’re at a crossroads, it can be helpful to examine our values so
we can connect what we do with why we’re doing it. If you want help determining
your values, this exercise will help you gain clarity on what’s most important
to you–and in less than 10 minutes. If you’re feeling frustrated and notice
your inner critic getting loud, remember that working mom is not synonymous
with “bad mom” and that you can be both a wonderful mother and a working mom.
5. Get support and ask for what
you need
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
and ask other moms how they do it. Many of the overachieving women that I coach
find it tremendously hard to ask for help and have created a strong identity
around being self-sufficient. Learning to soften the need to “do it all” will
help you transition back into work, and make your life easier. I often tell my
coaching clients to remember that it’s not weakness to ask for help, it’s a
sign of strength. When you’re struggling, it’s helpful to remember how good it
feels to help someone else, and you can share that positive energy by allowing
others to support you.
6. Practicing saying no…without
the guilt
Ahh, the art of saying no. I was
just speaking at the Watermark Conference for Women, and being able to say an
effective no was brought up multiple times as a critical skill for working
moms. If you have trouble saying no, it’s helpful to start practicing with
saying no to small things before tackling the big stuff. You will want to be
firm with your no, because otherwise you’ll end up drawing out the process and
wasting additional time and energy. It can often feel more natural to say no
with an appreciation sandwich (example: I appreciate you reaching out and
getting in touch, but I’m unable to help with the bake sale at school next
month. Thank you for leading the charge–I appreciate your dedication to the
school!) so you are both firm and compassionate. Check out this video for more
tips on how to say no without feeling guilty.
7. Prioritize sleep
I can’t help but include this tip
even though it probably seems both obvious and impossible at the same time. So
here it goes: even if it means letting your partner do a night feeding, or
having dirty dishes in the sink, or letting the bed go unmade, do whatever you
can to protect your sleep. I highly recommend investing in an eye mask and
earplugs so that when you do sleep, you get the highest quality sleep possible.
One of the biggest disruptors (besides night feedings!) to our sleep are our
phones. The extra time spent checking Facebook and then Instagram and then
rechecking Facebook before bed not only pushes back our bedtime, but staring at
a screen also disrupts the production of melatonin and messes with our sleep
cycles. Confession: I’m powerless over my phone, so in order to actually put
this tip into practice I had to buy an alarm clock and move my phone and
charger into the kitchen so it wouldn’t tempt me. Consider making a similar
adjustment if you’re finding it difficult to turn off the phone at night.
8. Plan and delegate
Setting clear expectations with
your partner about responsibilities at home is important in any marriage, but
especially a marriage with children. Can’t seem to convince your husband to do
more around the house? Try sending him this study that shows that couples have
more sex when household chores are shared. Another power tip for working moms
is to do meal planning every Sunday night. This will help save yourself the
hassle of figuring out what you’re going to have for dinner while your stomach
grumbles.
9. Pay it forward
If there isn’t a moms group at
your company, start one. Talk to HR about how they can improve their policies
and how they can better reintegrate moms post-maternity leave. If the HR team
is hesitant, you can send them this study that shows that having great parental
leave policies is a key way to attract and retain top talent.
The transition back to work after
having a baby can be a rocky one, but hopefully with these tips in hand you
will be better prepared for what lies ahead.
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