Bros Etcetera, 'Think Before You Write'

By Hafeez Onitilo

I honestly never saw this day coming, the day that I would to insult Etcetera publicly, he is one of the people I respect in the entertainment industry that's why it saddens me that I have to say this.
To be honest I love Etcetera when he was an artiste because his music was touching and wonderful, since he became a writer I haven't  read much of his works but recently stumble on one of his articles on a website and I was highly disappointed that he could write such a piece. The headline of the story was “Etcetera blast singer Asa and Korede Bello, Your collabos are getting dumber By The Day”.

I read his article for two reason; the fact that it was written by Etcetera someone I respect and also because it had to do with Asa's music (another musician I respect). After reading the article I was shocked that Etcetera could write something this dumb. In the article he made mention of two songs that Asa featured on which he thinks wasn't good enough for Asa's standard, the first was Naetoe C's Share My Blessing while the second one is Korede Bello's Somebody Great. For the sake of better understanding I would split this article into three parts and the first would be to addressed the Natoe C Share My Blessing.

Now let me also be blunt to say that Etcetera's option about Naetoe C and Asa collaboration is shallow and sounds like he doesn’t even understand music at all. He said and I quote from the article “The first line of the song almost pulled off my knee cap. It is the most fatal accident I have had till date. I almost died when I heard “what a conundrum” within the first few lines. What Conundrum? Like seriously?” First of let me ask you, Do you really understand what the song was talking about because if you do, you would understand what the word Conundrum meant  in the first few lines of the song. Here is the first few lines “All white kaftan like the stripe on a tom tom, See how we got famous where we come from, walahi it’s from teaspoons to lump sums – What a conundrum!. Really anybody that understands rap music would have no problem with the conundrum. I know for a fact that you knew what definition of Conundrum Naetoe was referring to in that line because it was in the same context you also used it when you said “the only thing close to a conundrum in the whole song was how you convinced Asa to feature in the song”. To those reading this, Conundrum can also mean “to be puzzled with/at something” so let replace the word Conundrum both in Naetoe lines and Etcetera word and see if they were used in the same context or not, I boldly say they were.

You also said “That song has some of the dumbest lines ever used in the history of rap music worldwide” and this was when I actually realise that you know nothing about how rap music should be. What do you mean by dumbest lines bros? Let me enlighten you a bit about rap music, sometimes doing rap songs is like telling a story or writing a poem and this particular Naeteo song was the story kind, and when you are doing a rap story song it is more about how your story connect not how your rhymes or punchlines sounds.  

I am happy that you didn't even criticize Asa's line because that would have been worst but what you also said about Asa agreeing to feature on the song baffles me. You said and I quote again “didn’t Asa or her manager Janet, hear Naeto C’s lines before accepting to feature on the song?” Bros na we suppose dey even ask you whether you listen to this song before you begin to criticize am? Make I write out the lyrics for you just to tell you say if na you dey call to feature and you come Usain Bolt out of the studio like you talk then you be musical mumu”

Verse 1

All white kaftan like the stripe on a tom tom

See how we got famous where we come from

Walahi it’s from teaspoons to lump sums – What a conundrum!

All I did was make lines like when ABC bus comes

Now they saying tread softly with caution

You attract the wrong people when they know about your fortune

I’m worried maybe that’ll be my portion.

I don’t need a new cut to feel level headed

My experience has justified where I’m headed

So when they talk about the things that I do wrong

I just pat them on the back like a new born

Cos as the rumor’s starts to spread like a bed sheet 
I’m calculating money on excel spread sheets.

I’m too blessed to be stressed

So I’m giving out some love cos I’m getting it in excess

Now that you should respect.

Verse 2

1st day of the year

My best friend died in a car crash.

Couple of months before that, I survived in a car crash.

Now that’s the irony of life

She was good enough to be a wife

I only cry once a year but that year, I cried thrice.

So dear friend, let me give you an advice

Keep your loved ones close cos they won’t live twice

I should have told her how I felt but I couldn’t be precise.

I didn’t reply her emails even though she broke down her feelings in detail.

I was busy dealing with all sorts of female

Now it’s hard for me to even open up my gmail

I wish she had the same luck as me

But that’s what I couldn’t give unluckily.

And so I pray that my blessings extend

To the rest of my family and friends.

Like I said, only if you want to make a musical error that is when you would reject the chance to voice a hook on this beautiful crafted song.

To Be Continued........